Sen
by Avasinclair123
Summary: Did something happen in the Spirit World that no one bothered to tell me about? Did the name that Yubaba give her suddenly take on a personality of it's own? Is Sen trying to take over my life? And why does that boy look like Haku! I'm not crazy, I know it... Rated T to be safe. Kind of a Dark theme. Mental Disorders, Asylum. etc. Jumps between first and third POV
1. Chapter 1

She hesitated just outside the house when her she would now be living. It didn't feel right.

"Chihiro? Aren't you going to go inside and select your room?" Akio asked.

"Hmm, um yah." she told said and walked over the threshold. As she clutched the bouquet of roses and the card, she looked down at it again.

Chihiro...that was her name, but it didn't feel right anymore. Yubaba's curse was broken, it was her name, but why did she feel like Sen? Why were Sen's thoughts invading her own? Why did she suddenly have an overwhelming need to clean the floors and the tub, to serve guests. Wait, what guests?

"Is something the matter Chihiro?" Yuko asked coming behind her.

Chihiro could only shake her head. She fought the urge to turn around and run down the steep side of the mountain that her house was perched on. It took everything in her not to run to the tunnel, through it, and back to the bathhouse. What was going on?

_We belong there, not here. _

What? Why was there a voice talking to her? Had something happened in the Spirit World that no one bothered to tell her about? Did the name that Yubaba gave her take on it's own personality? Was Sen trying to take over her life?


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I always forget...I don't own Spirited Away. also, this is AU so don't be too brutal about it xD Haku will be here soon**

She was sent away. It was for her own good they said. She cried, screamed, and refused to let go of her mother's shirt. They gave her a sedative and dragged her off to Roko, the Asylum for the mentally ill.

* * *

**First Person:**

"I'm not crazy!" I screamed after the sedatives wore off and I could see my surroundings.

"I swiped your chart, you hear voices in your head, sounds crazy to me." A voice said, Lin, my roommate.

"But I'm not. It was real, it was all real."

"What was?"

"I- I don't know..."

I couldn't remember any of it. It seemed like a dream. As much as I tried to remember the faces, names, and landscape, I couldn't. Except for one name, the name that has haunted me ever since we moved into our new house.

Sen.

_We don't belong here, get us back Chihiro, get us back!_

Shut up...just shut up! I couldn't take hearing her voice. I didn't know where she wanted to go, what she wanted me to do! There was no where to go except home...but my own parents didn't want me. They let them bring me here because they couldn't handle me. Couldn't handle their own daughter...I don't understand why. I cleaned everything in the house without them ever asking. I went to school, I got good grades, and I didn't talk to Sen around them. So why couldn't they handle me?

Oh wait, there was that one time...in therapy. They tried to hypnotize me. To unlock memories. That was the only time the faces and names became clear. Then Sen took over. We screamed about going back. Going to the bathhouse, through the tunnel. I had to be restrained, my body hurt so much. I tried to gag her, but it was too late, the damage had been done, she had gotten stronger. I couldn't contain her for a long time, but if I was tired, she could break free.

Many times we tried to run away, to get the tunnel. I tried to tell her that there was nothing there, but she didn't believe me. We kept running, down the slope, my legs got scrapped from the branches, as did my bare feet. Through the abandoned building to an empty field. We kept running until we reached the other end of it. We fell to my knees screaming, crying.

"Where was it?" We screamed, then we fainted.

I made my way back home, to find my parents worried sick. I got the master bedroom, with the adjacent bathroom. Bars were installed on the window and a lock on the outside of the door. I was only let out for school and to eat, when I was in control. If I even seemed tired, my dad would carry us, Sen and I, back to my room to lock us in. To keep me safe they said. She didn't like it. We would scream for hours and bang on the walls, doors, and the window. We even broke it once. We broke my hand too. We would also make me go hoarse. Maybe that's why they said that they couldn't control me. It was Sen's fault.

_Get back, get back, we need to get back! _

Get back to where Sen? There is nothing for us behind that building. There is no one there.

_They are there! They have to be! He promised, HE PROMISED!_

"HE PROMISED!" we screamed, she took over again.

"Woah, Chihiro calm down." Lin said from her bed.

"Lin, Lin is it really you? What are you doing here? Why aren't you at the bathhouse with Yubaba and Haku. Lin how is everyone?" We said trying to hug the girl on the bed.

"What are you talking about? Let me go!"

The men in the white jackets were coming in. They really existed, funny huh? Pain in the crook of my arm. Numb. Sleep. Goodnight Sen.

_We need to get back. _

All she thought about was that place. The place in the dream.

* * *

**Third Person: **

She was running through food stands. Where were her parents?

"Mom! Dad! Where are you?" she called frantically. "MOMMY!"

She found them, but...they were pigs! She screamed and ran and kept running. Her vision got dark. She was not in the witch's office. Demanding a job from Yubaba. After yelling for what seemed like hours, she finally gave in and gave the girl one. She signed her name on a contract...Chihiro...

The witch took it, and left her with Sen.

Chihiro jerked awake, the sedative wore off. The dream was slipping away fast. She grabbed a pen and wrote down the names. Yubaba...Sen...

_That's how you got me. She did this...we have to get back. _

"But why?" She answered out loud. Lin was taken out of her room, she was alone.

_We just have to. We belong there. _

"Where is there?"

_The spirit world. Don't you remember? No, the gate took your memories. But it left me. _

"It's just a dream."

_It was real. Just like the hairtie. Check it. _

Chihiro sighed and pulled the hairtie off her head, they let her keep it.

_The purple hairtie. _

"It's red."

_YOU CHANGED IT! We're supposed to wear it always! It's supposed to protect us! That's why we're here, you took it off! You stupid stupid girl!_

Chihiro didn't answer. She just closed her eyes and returned to her dreams.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I don't own Spirited Away, if I did, Chihiro would have stayed with Haku. **

* * *

How long have I been here? I don't remember. They tried putting other girls in this room with me, but Sen always takes over. She thinks they belong in the Spirit World, as she calls it. Finally I was left alone. The director of the asylum came to see us, when she had taken over. It wasn't pretty. The lady was old, and frail looking. Hundreds of wrinkles lined her face and her hair was in a bun on the top of her head. She didn't wear a lab coat like the rest of them, but she did have on a blue dress. Her hands were weighed down by a ton of rings. Sen instantly took over more.

"Yubaba! Get away from me! I'm free of your curse just leave!" we screamed. "Lin and Yubaba are hear, so where is Haku? HE PROMISED!"

The director had to leave, we were getting to violent. We were punching at the walls trying to escape again. We were throwing my body against the door. Now I'm in so much pain. I remember yelling at Sen to leave me alone, to stop it. I remember begging, then she calmed down and let me fall asleep. It has been quiet for a long time. I'm mostly sleeping. When I feel her taking over, I call for them, I'd rather have the dreams than deal with her. She hurts me.

_Coward. _

She's been getting so insulting. She thinks I'm a coward for not escaping. What's the point? We have nowhere to go. Roko is far from home.

_It's by the river, if we get there, he can find us. _

The river was filled in years ago. It's all apartments now.

_But there has to be a spring, a pond, something. Rivers don't go away, they flow underground. It has to be coming up somewhere! _

I just call the nurses, they give me the pills and I fall asleep.

I'm in a boiler room. There is a man, no, a spider man. He has six arms. Two are grinding herbs, two are gathering them from a wall that reaches to great heights full of drawers. Those drawers have the herbs in them. The other two are doing other things, relieving pressure in the boiler, lifting a kettle of liquid to his mouth for a drink. There are also balls of soot walking around.

They are carrying to coal to the fire. One is carrying a piece that is too heavy. It falls on it. Poor little thing. I rush over to pick it up, to help it out. It reforms, but scurries away.

"What am I supposed to do with this?" I ask the balls and the boilerman.

"Finish what you started human." he says, his voice is neutral, not kind, but not mean either.

I lift up the piece, it's actually really heavy, I no longer believe it's coal. Maybe an organic material only found in this place, anyway, I struggle to carry it to the furnace. It's on some sort of timer, probably a series of weights that opens and closes the mouth to feed the burning hot monster. I manage to throw the thing in and run out of the way before the fire spits out of the dragon's mouth. The other balls drop their cargo on themselves so I'll help. When I don't move, they take it to me to pile it up. The boilerman is yelling at them and spitting curses.

"If they don't work they turn back to soot" he snaps at me, "Go away I don't have a job for you!"

"Please I want a job here!"

The small door that I never noticed before opens. A girl walks in with a basket. She's feeding the soot balls and talking to the boilerman. Then she sees me.

"A human! What are you doing here? You're the one everyone's looking for you're in big trouble!"

"She's my granddaughter." The boilerman says. He convinces the girl to take me to Yubaba, for a roasted newt.

The dream was the same as before. I knew this part so well. The witch, Yubaba gives me a job and changes my name.

Sen.

This is how I got her. This is why I'm stuck in this prison. This is why I can't return home. But all this was a dream. It doesn't make any sense.

A boy walks in.

"You called for me."

The witch tells him that I am a new employee and he asks for my name. I want to say Chihiro, but something doesn't let me, it's Sen now. I try to talk to him, but he snaps at me, tells me not to talk to him and to only address him as Master Haku.

_Haku..._

I start waking up. I knew it would happen when I heard her. She never invades my dreams. She's always there, but a silent observer.

_Your dreams are our memories. _

She's talking to me more, trying to convince me that it's all real. I know it's not, how could it be. It's just dreams. I take my journal and write as much as I can remember down. She fills in the rest, putting more than my dream had. I let her, knowing that, somehow, those words that she writes always come true in my dreams.

_You never listen to me, those are memories!_

I chose to ignore her now. I've grown used to hearing her voice in my head. She hasn't broken free in a while, not even when I'm tired.

_No point, unless they open the door. As long as Yubaba stays away, we're safe here, even though you're a coward and we need to be in the Spirit World. _

* * *

**Third Person:**

There was a commotion in the hall. Chihiro walked over to peak out of the small window her door had. It was too small to crawl out of, so Sen never tried to get them to break it. She could only see part of the hallway, but it was enough.

A boy, screaming so loud. She could see him, since he broke free of the staff and was running down the hall. His hair, so black it was almost green. He was pale, and wearing the gown that all patients wore.

"I need to get out of here!" he was yelling, "I need to find her. I promised I would find her!"

The Director cornered him, I could feel Sen starting to flare up, as she always did.

"Yubaba..." the boy was still loud enough to be heard. "What did you do to me, where is she?! Where are my dragon powers?"

_He knows who she really is. Dragon, HAKU! He's here. He's here!_

Chihiro was silent when she watched him. The boy looked like the one from her dreams.

_Memories._

They sedated him and put him on a gurney. They could hear him being wheeled into the room next to theirs.

"He called you Yubaba" one of the workers said just outside of their door.

"Just like the girl..." the director confirmed.

She didn't know that Chihiro was still watching. She watched her mumble something, and watched her lips move.

"What did she say?" Chihiro asked out loud.

_How do they know. _

* * *

**First Person:**

We were on lock down after that incident. And by we I meant Sen and I, and the boy next door. We could hear him banging on the walls, throwing himself at them. Just like we did earlier. She hasn't left me since he arrived. It's been the both of us controlling my body for a week now. We just sit on the bed next to his wall. She keeps us pressed as close as possible. We tried calling to him, through the wall. He heard us, I think, but they he got more violent, so we stopped. Then we got a visitor.

She looked like the director. Same dress, same wrinkles, same rings, same hair. The only difference were her eyes. They were kind. Sen didn't react to her, in fact, she seemed calm.

"Granny" we said.

The woman smiled and motioned for us to turn around. We did and she tugged the hair tie out of my hair. We felt another one being wrapped in it's place. Then she was gone. We thought she may have been a dream, until we took the hair tie out. Purple.

_To protect us._

I'm starting to believe her. Maybe I am crazy after all.

* * *

**A/N: Chihiro is starting to believe Sen? And what's with the Director, is she really Yubaba? Is that boy actually Haku, or is he just a crazy patient in the asylum. Was the Spirit World all just a delusion that Chihiro made up and believed to be real? Or is something else entirely different going on? **


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I don't own Spirited Away**

* * *

We have been here for a long time. I think it's been months now. I think I'm sixteen now. Those dreams started six years ago. I got Sen six years ago. The boy next door, the one that she calls Haku is in my therapy session. We're the only ones. He won't look at me, nor will he talk. I don't either. His real name is Kohaku, or so he says, they can't get anything else out of him.

"Kohaku do you remember why you came?" The therapist asks slowly, as if talking to a mentally challenged child instead of a teen with a mental disorder.

Silence.

"You jumped off a bridge Kohaku. You were screaming about finding Chihiro and about being a dragon. Chihiro is right here, and now you won't talk to her."

What was our therapist getting at? I didn't even know the kid.

"Chihiro, are you going to speak?" she asked.

I could only stare at her. Sen was also quiet.

"She doesn't remember." Kohaku spoke up suddenly, I felt Sen stir at the sound of his voice.

_Haku don't talk, they'll hurt you if you do. _

She has been weary ever since we saw the director mouth those words...How do they know. How do we know that she really is Yubaba. But she isn't. She isn't a witch she's a doctor.

_Denial._

"What doesn't she remember?" the therapist, I think her name is Kelli, asked.

"She doesn't remember." he said again.

I turned my head to look at the window, it was the only one. It was propped open a bit. It looked big enough to fit through. I could feel his gaze on mine. When I turned to look, he just nodded.

"I NEED TO FIND HER! I NEED TO FIND CHIHIRO I HAVE TO BECOME A DRAGON AND FIND HER!" he started screaming and thrashing around.

Kelli tried to restrain him, to keep him from hurting himself. I felt Sen take over. We sprinted to the window and climbed out onto the balcony. I could see how far we were from the ground...very far.

_We've been higher up. _

We ran along the side of the building until there was nothing, only a pipe. She wanted me to run along it.

_We're done it before! Come on! _

We were running. It took everything to keep our balance as the pipe broke off the side of the wall. We kept running along the next balcony to the fire escape. Too much time! They were swarming under us, waiting. We decided to go up.

Up and up we climbed, when we reached the top, she was there. Sen charged at her. Knocked her over and tried to run past. There was no one else up there, only the two of us. I felt my body freeze.

_No no! She's using her magic, she has magic here!_

It couldn't be. Her memories were fake, magic didn't exist! I looked for the sting, the reason that my body was locked in place. I found nothing. We were whipped around and flew back towards her.

"You escaped me and you didn't let yourself forget, either stay here forever or come back to work for me" she was saying.

_No, no no no no no no no no no don't let her take us!_

I felt a glow on my head, it was burning. With an unearthly scream, Yubaba dropped us and we ran, sprinting for the other side of the building. There was another building just a few feet away, but we weren't going to make it! She made us jump anyway. We scrambled through the air, gripping for something, anything. There was nothing, then there was pain and darkness.

We woke up what felt like a few seconds later back in our bed. The boy was also in our room. Haku.

"What happened?" I heard my voice say.

"You fell, and almost died. Luckily you landed on a balcony just a few stories down, it had the garden, you hit a tree."

"A tree on a building?"

He only shrugged.

"It saved you, so they brought you back in here. What happened?"

"She was up there...she...she used magic. My hair band..." I gasped, my hair was down. "SHE TOOK IT!"

"Hush, Zeniba will get it back to you." he said.

I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes, I couldn't explain how I knew who Zeniba was, nor could I explain how suddenly every memory came flooding back.

"Kohaku, it's not real." I said for what was left of my sanity.

"It is real Chihiro. You were really there."

"Then why don't I remember this?"

"You do, through Sen. She was created when Yubaba stole your name. Yubaba split you when she created Sen."

"Split me?" I had to ask

"You, the thing that makes you. You're memory, you're essence...I guess you would call it your soul." he explained. "When Sen was created, she spit your soul to make her. You and Sen are two different versions of the same person. Sen was supposed to be rejoined with you when you passed through the gate, when your memories were erased but something kept you separate. She didn't forget, because she is a Spirit."

"I'm half of a Spirit? Then why aren't I just in the Spirit World?"

"You are."

* * *

**A/N: Wait what? What is going on? Is she dreaming again, or is this really happening? Was Sen telling the truth all along?**


End file.
